Letter To myself From the Turning Point in my Path

To the man I was 12 weeks ago
(And to anyone standing where he stood)

You were tired.
Not tired like “I need a nap.”
Tired like “the fire's gone out and I forgot what fed it”.
Tired like being the hearth for everyone else and forgetting to come home to yourself.

You kept asking, What’s wrong with my relationship?
But the real question was, Where did I go?

You weren’t broken.
Just frozen.
Just buried.
Just burned out from pouring and never drinking.

Handing out buckets of water from a well you never drank from yourself. 

So you stopped.
You took your hands off the wheel.
You gave yourself a rite of return. Not to the relationship — to your axis.

And in doing so,
you remembered the medicine:

→ The dog needed walking. And so did the wild man in you.
→ The staff missed your grip. And so did the path miss your steps.
→ The land and the trees were still singing. And they were waiting for you.

This wasn’t about fixing her.
It was about finding you.
And in finding you, the love softened.
The distance between you and your beloved held meaning.
The world widened again.

You're not "back."
You're becoming.
You're spiraling deeper, and it shows.

I want to remind you that focusing on yourself before taking care of everyone else is not selfish.

 Feeding yourself as much as you feed others is soulfish. 

Coming back to walking your own path was the most loving thing you could do for yourself and your relationship .

Hold steady, soul being, this is just the beginning.